[0176.] Friends cut. DUN DUN DUN

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:17:49 GMT

I'm going to be doing a friends cut pretty soon. I pretty much know who I'm cutting and who I'm not cutting. Some of you on here, we just do not connect. I hate to say it I didn't give a pre-warning about this but I'm doing a cut. There's a few people who's updates just do not intrigue me in any way. It's just taking up a bunch of space on my friend's page. So. Here's who I'm cutting. Please do not take this in offense, and do not start drama about this. It's okay. You are still loved.

jessicamee
punklikeleno
selphie
underthestars1

And now the hard part is over. Please remove me from your friends list as well.

P.S. I highly recommend the new Ashlee Simpson CD to everyone. It is a really great. It has a lot of umph. She sounds great, and it is so catchy! :) I love it.

[0130.] Lock the doors, 'cause I'd like to capture this voice.

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 05:10:22 GMT

Do not click on the LJ cut link if you do not want to hear about Mykail.

What a day it's been. I know it's kind of lame that this is the second time I've posted in one day, but this has been on my mind ever since my dad and I were at Casa de Pico.

I really want to write out the story of Mykail and I. And I'm going to. Seriously. If you don't want to hear about him, DO NOT read this. Because I don't want to get shit from people. This is MY journal and I'm going to write whatever the heck I feel like writing in it.

It all started back in my freshman year. I did colorguard. And our sister guard was Valhalla. Well, Mykail was on Valhalla's guard. I noticed that he was pretty cute and that he was absolutely AMAZING at guard. I thought he was gay though. So I was bummed out for awhile. Even though I was totally going out with Ben. [Scandalous, I know] He quit guard, and I really didn't hear anything about him after that. I kinda just went along with my business.

Well he added me sometime last year on myspace. But he was one of those people that you just kind of see on your friends list, but never talk to. I think we talked once then. He commented this picture I had up telling me he used the same hairspray as me. And then he told me that jamba juice was just as bad as a hamburger and fries. [Which I totally tell that to like EVERYONE nowadays] But I still thought he was gay. Haha. Well the conversation just died and I went on with my life for the second time.

This year, actually in September, he posted one of those surveys that other people fill out. Well like normal, I kinda just took it from him and posted it myself. Well he replied and was like HEY I'm offended that you took it and didn't fill it out or something like that. It was cute. So I filled it out and asked him if it made him feel better. And he said it did. Well from there, we had a long message chain thing going with at least 50 replies. We have this quote. And it goes like this:"Secrets are good. :)" "Ah, don't tempt me little girl!" And I was totally flirting, like hardcore with him. And he was like, oh my gosh I'm going to jail. So I told him it was okay, secrets are good. And that's when he said ah don't..blah blah blah. And I thought it was funny. Well after awhile myspace got lame so we started talking through AIM.

Well the next day, it was a Tuesday. And he was kind of texting me. Well that day, I had planned to go and hang out with Brett. And I'm going to admit it, I did have sex with Brett. But it really wasn't wrong. It's not like I was GOING OUT with Mykail. Finally, about a week later, i just stopped talking to Brett and decided I needed to move on to bigger, better things in my life.

Mykail started taking me to work, and to youth group, and dropped me off at home. He really did SO much for me. It's incredible how much that boy did. Some weeks, he would pick me up from school on Monday, drop me off at my volunteer job, Tuesday, he would pick me up and we would go to this fancy little park and just hang out and talk, kiss. The normal couple stuff. On Wednesday, he would pick me up after youth group and we would park and just hang out. Talk, kiss. Laugh. The good stuff. I normally didn't see him on Thursdays. But on some Friday's, the Friday's we had home football games, he would pick me up, we would hang out, and then he'd drop me off at home and then come to my game that night.

The first meeting. He came to my first football game. He didn't pick me up from school. But he came to my football game. Before we went on, I happened to look at my phone and he said "Good skill...blah blah blah". I really don't remember it all. Well we went on and performed and whatever. Well I checked my phone and I had a text from him and he told me I looked amazing and blah blah blah I did good I think. Well when we were allowed to leave the band room, I called him and sorta did the play hard to get game, just because it's fun. Well I could tell after awhile he started to get kind of annoyed. So I gave in and met him in the pit. Actually, I ran around the corner and he found me. Well, a second later, he handed me a single red rose. I was shocked. It was amazing. But I told him I didn't believe that he was really there. So I asked him what our uniforms were. And he got it right. He also pointed out that I slipped one toss and dropped the horizontal. I felt pretty lame. But anyways.

The next big event. September 12th, 2007. He picked me up from youth group with a plan. We went to this little ghetto park right down the street from the church. Well we were just messing around. And finally, he was like "come here, I want to talk to you". Well, he said that he knew I wanted it and that it was supposed to be special but he didn't care. He asked me out. :) It was a wonderful night.

Rachel and I got invited [along with a lot of other people] to Lina's sweet 16 party. We decided we would go and that we would get little skanky dresses. Mykail took Rachel and I to the mall and he bought me this little orange dress. He told me I looked amazing in it. And he told me he didn't mind buying it because it was like a purchase for him too, seeing me in it. Well that night, he picked me up. And for the first time we did sexual, bad things. I remember we were making out so hardcore that I got a bruise on my lip. It was insane. The song "Let It Go" was playing and everytime it came on, we just smiled.

About the end of September, Mykail and I started writing notes back and forth. And it was fun. :D

Well it came the time to say I LOVE YOU. I said it first. Mykail thought things were bothering me that day, and they were. I didn't want to fall in love, but it was true. I really did fall in love with him. And hard. Well, I got a pen out, and I told him to give me his arm. He gave me a weird look, but did as he was told. So, I wrote I love you on his arm. And he got all happy and told me he loved me too. It was wonderful.

Around the end of October things were getting shaky. We ended up breaking up two weeks after a little fight that kind of went on for a few days, like on and off. We broke up on what would have been our two month point. I was devastated. He kept talking about how "it was just so hard". I, to this day, don't even know what he was referring to, but he's 19 years old, and he knows what he's talking about. So I just kind of let him walk out the door. I tried talking him out of it, but it was't working. So I just had to take a step back and realize that we had a great relationship, but it was over. And there was just nothing I could do about it.

And that's the story. Now, I realize that I did leave a lot out. There was a whole lot more that happened in the course of the relationship. But to make a longer story a hell of a lot shorter, I thought I liked him a lot in the beginning, but I was really just not feeling it. i didn't want to break up with him because that would just suck. I decided to stick it out and wait for things to get better and see if stuff changed, such as my feelings for him, and I am SO glad I decided to stick it out because we shared a very amazing relationship, and I had feelings much stronger for him than what I had ever had for any other boy I dated. We dated for actually a little over two months, but were official for two months. And in that, he taught me a lot about me. He once told me that I'm an inspiring person, and he thinks it's amazing that I'm so young and have so much faith [religious].

To this day, I still love him, but not in the way you're probably thinking. He's truly an amazing person. I don't like it when people say he's stupid for "what he did" because he never really did anything at all. Like sure, he could have done this earlier, but who cares. And least he didn't drag this out any longer. Oh I forgot. "What he did". Well, we have been having sex a little bit lately. The last time was last Sunday, or the Sunday before that. I can't remember. Well, it was Wednesday night and basically he said he shouldn't have sex or anything anymore. So I asked him if it was the end to everything romantic between us, and he told me yes, at least until I'm eighteen. That night, it made me cry my eyes out. But I got it all out then, and the next morning. But looking back, I realize that he's NOT stupid for that. He's actually smart, and he just doesn't want to get caught and go to jail. Even though he could have realized that awhile ago, I know. But still. He's a great guy, and I don't care what anyone else says. Because there's always two sides to a story.
:)

I miss Forest Home. And another thing, I miss dating. Evie is going on dates with this guy and he's treating her amazing and she's telling me all about it. And Rachel is with Daniel, her ex she dated last year. I love that they're together again. There's so much I didn't know, like she was still stuck on him even all this year. That boy just knows how to put a smile on her face, and that makes me happy. But anyways, I miss having a boy in my life. I want someone. I want a guy who will take me out to dinner. But if I get into another relationship, well...when I get in another relationship, I plan on telling my mom. No more secrets. Plus then my mom will trust me and stuff. So.

Well this year, I'm sharing a Valentine. Rachel. Haha. Daniel will have half, and I will have half. Psh, I've "been with" Rachel for much longer than Daniel has. :P Haha. Well I'm gonna get off now. Goodnight.

[0116]. It's the greatest time of year.

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 00:53:31 GMT

LA LA LA NO DRAMA NEEDED!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Some people are being very lame and are stirring up drama.
But I will not give into it.
NO DRAMA!!
:D

0001.

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 20:56:05 GMT

LOCKED

&not adding.

alluringcouture

[0176.] Friends cut. *DUN DUN DUN*

[0130.] Lock the doors, 'cause I'd like to capture this voice.

[0116]. It's the greatest time of year.

0001.

[0176.] Friends cut. DUN DUN DUN